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Wed, Oct 29th 2008, 10:59
Hard times made Raptor O'Neal a family man
It was the watershed moment of Jermaine O’Neal’s life, the minute he changed from boy to man.
He had grown up with a mom and a grandmother and a brother but no father and when his own daughter was born, he vowed then that things would be different.
They had to be. Others depended on him now.
“Me having my daughter at 20 years old really put me at another level,” the 30-year-old Raptors centre says. “All of a sudden, it wasn’t about me any more. It was all about her and raising her and making sure that Daddy does the right things and Daddy makes her proud so that when she looks back 10, 15 years from now, she can be proud of what her Daddy did and accomplished and made for her and her kids and her brother.
“To me, I really stopped thinking about myself and had to really grow up in a quick way.”
O’Neal has nothing but love and respect for the women who raised him (“My mother, who was able to be the mother and the father”) but he knows something was missing. It won’t be missing in his family.
“As a father now, I understand some of the things I missed growing up because I didn’t have my father and I try to do those things,” he says. “I try to raise my kids exactly how I wanted to be raised. That’s being caring, being there for them no matter what.
“If I’m on the road, I call my daughter every single day, ask what she learned at school, how did school go? I even talk to my little boy and he doesn’t even know how to talk, he just knows that dada’s on the phone.”
Those are conversations O’Neal never got to have with his father, who abandoned two sons and their mother before Jermaine was born. They were in contact once, when it became apparent a teenaged O’Neal was destined for basketball greatness – and riches – but they’ve never spoken again.
“I think having a man in a kid’s life is a different part that I think kids need,” he says. “You see so many situations where kids are raised by only their mother or only by their father and they’re kind of missing a little bit.”
Comments
KenEJoe | on 7/11/08
All respect Jermaine. Basketball is a great game but I love hearing about a man with character, being who he needs to be. One of the greatest accomplishments we can have in this life is to be a positive influence on the next generation (first with our own kids). That impacts the lives of your children but carries on to their future families too. As a dad I just wait to say I’m proud of you for stepping up. You must come from a great family, your mom and brothers. All respect.
Don’t worry about scoring that will take care of itself. Look at the big picture of what you’ve gone through in the last few months: the trade, moving, working in another country, learning a new system, wanting to prove yourself, doing all to make sure your healthy… These things all add little blocks of stress to our lives that we don’t realize. Time will reduce it all. Just remember the fun of playing this great game. You have already proved yourself, man. You excel at playing in the best bball league in the world. Stop looking for what you think you may be doing wrong. Find and watch a Pacer game where you scored, rebounded, blocked shots like crazy. See it with your own eyes, all the things you do well. And count it all joy cause not many can say they play in the NBA.
In the end your kids really won’t care about your putting a ball in a hoop, they just want to know that you care.
Enjoy
KJ
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